Anything in the Drugstore Aisle?
when i was in high school i determined that i cried once a year. once a year. usually on a saturday. i would find myself in my bedroom, lying on my bed in an l-shape - with my legs up against the wall. and i would be overwhelmed with sadness about one thing or another. once it was because i was convinced my mother was either having an affair or had been abducted by aliens who had left a poor replica in her place. it turned out that she was pregnant (she was forty and we kids were pretty much grown so, at the time abducted by aliens seemed more logical). once i felt that the girls at school were trying to make me into someone i wasn't and the feeling that i was losing my identity or that me wasn't good enough seemed too much to bear. it didn't matter what the reason was - i thought it was good and healthy to lie for a good 15 minutes to half hour and just let it out. very cleansing. then i stopped. i guess i grew out of it all.
a few years ago, i think i probably needed to cry to make up for all the time i had spent not really crying. i cried but apparently not enough. i was told to be strong, so i dried my eyes and moved on.
now, damnit, i leak pretty much all the time. three years on and i cry at funny cartoons. hell, i was devastated when dumbledore died! i'm thinking on saturday - not this weekend, cos i have to work - but maybe next weekend, if i'm not too busy. i think i'll lie back in my familiar l (scuffed walls be damned) and have a good old fashioned bawl for no good reason or maybe for every good reason. i'm thinking that, if i do it right, it might tide me over a good 6 months or so.
posted by pandave at 8:41 PM
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